I’m not a huge fan of the phrase weight loss, because I bought into the concept, that subconsciously, things that have been lost need to be found. I believe I picked up that idea from the author of Thin Within, Judy Wardell (Judy Halliday now, or before?).
I prefer the idea of “releasing energy.” Everything is energy. Matter and energy can go back and forth, just like water and ice cubes. You can melt the ice and have water (energy, in this analogy), and you can freeze the water to again have ice (solid matter…or is it?). You can also turn ice into steam. Interesting!
I’ll admit I have recently released 82.6 pounds of unusable, burdensome energy that is now free in the world to perform good needs and spread kindness, compassion and courtesy to one another. I wish this were the first time I needed to address an eating compulsion. It is not. But I won’t try to explain it, excuse it, or even examine it.
Today, I am merely celebrating a transition to a new, healthier phase of my life. I eat vegetables as though they might disappear tomorrow, and if I don’t eat vitamin K and E and A and C now, how will I be the fit, energetic, helpful, vital person I choose to be?
Me, June 13 2008, the morning after I joined Weight Watchers
I apologize that the images aren’t identical in dress and pose. One cannot wear a size 2X top at 147 pounds without looking like she’s on the way to bed! (Don’t you hate those befores and afters where they get a full beauty makeover in the after but look like @#$% in the before?)
The photo I’m showing as after was actually taken five months ago, but since I own all the cameras in the family, no one ever takes pictures of me (well, I do, but there’s quite a bit of set up involved in self-photography.) I’ve released about 10 pounds since then.
OK, I acknowledge the person in the photo to the right looks confident and relaxed…and a little bit daring: bring it on! The gal above is trying hard to look fun and involved in life, but is hiding behind fat and gobs of eating because of dissatisfactory circumstances which she chose to forget over food. (The necklace is the same.)
One reason people look better in all their after pictures is they feel better about themselves. Their friends and casual acquaintances tell them how terrific they look (some urge: “but don’t lose any more”). Cute, inexpensive clothes are made for smaller sizes, at least in women’s. To get large-size stylish clothing, one has to step up to some specialty shops.
At the Weight Watchers meeting tonight, people confirmed a common benefit of reaching their goal weight is they look younger. A late-80s-year-old writing mentor of mine told my partner she’d better take good care of me and keep me close or someone would surely snatch me up because I’ve become so attractive. She swears I could pass for 20 years younger. I’m not sure about that, but in many more natural and less flattering photos than top left, I’m sure I looked 20 or more years older!
I was reluctant to join Weight Watchers. I’m not much of a joiner. I sit on the end of the row in any sort of meeting so I can make a hasty escape. I’m an independent thinker. Weight Watchers seemed so mainstream. It has worked for me. Now a lifetime member, I will continue to go to the meetings until I believe my eating disorder is cured. It may never be cured. But tonight I’m happy and thankful and grateful and about to eat spaghetti!
What’s your story?
Me, Aug. 9, 2009, five months before reaching the Weight Watcher’s highest weight limit for my height: their Lifetime Member requirement.